the limitations of language

It isn’t an ache.

Or even the sting of sadness.

They call it loss. But perhaps it is

Alixythemia or inability to identify and express

or describe one’s feelings

Or

Compunctious or feeling remorse or regret

Or

Desiderium or an ardent desire or longing;

especially: a feeling of loss or grief for something lost

Or

The hollow in my stomach, the pebble that settled the day you ended

And, knowing the day would arrive and soon,

And being ready but not understanding what

ready to live in a world where you would

only be past meant,

And knowing you are one of the few to enter life

And get to finish

And I’m so happy you are at rest

And I feel something else that is like

the breathlessness of missing you

but the word hasn’t been invented yet.