Incomplete List Things I’ll Leave in 2016

Twice daily cupcakes (especially the ones with the cream filling in the center)

Every-other-day water (apparently every day—multiple times per day—is all the rage)

Reese’s cookies (alright, I’ll sneak these in occasionally)


Getting the last word (I’ll still have it in my mind, so battle won)

Sockless shoes (some people consider wearing all manner of shoes with no socks gross)

Those pants with the hole in the crotch (j/k I’ll see you next week, pants)

Twice yearly flossing (I’m flexible here, as teeth should have evolved to be self-flossing by now)


Anxiety (just kidding, you know you’re coming with me wherever I go)

High blood pressure (that’s how this works? I just say it and it leaves? Right?)

Sugar with coffee (some people say you can drink it the other way around. We’ll see)




(Of course I won’t leave you behind.

You’ll come with us, but you’ll have to be content—we all want to take a piece of you.

Even now. We can’t help it.

We can see you in photographs

And on film

And you’re what we had to give up.

The year has gotten away from us

And it is the last year we will ever have been “us.”

And the last year you were in present tense.

This is the last year we will ever live with you in it).

Lorna Doones (they were alright, at first. Now they–as everything–taste of ash).