awake

For many years I slept.

I did not dream in my slumber;

suspended in the in-between,

the not yet awake, but not

asleep enough

to dream.

A bullet

Of all things

awakened me.

Ripped into my chest

Bleeding me

I am awake.

The bullet hole has closed

But it has not healed

It cannot heal.

Over and again it is ripped open

And with my awareness comes

My anger

And your fear.

You are afraid of me.

You are afraid that I will

stare at you

As you have stared at me,

You are afraid that

in my waking hour

I will respond

Against the reality of you

As you responded

to the idea of me.

You are afraid

That I will know

You only cared for me

As long as I slept.

I entertained you

for awhile.

My antics while sleeping

Amused you,

the otherness of me

Lulled you into a stupor.

You were comforted

by my disorientation

By my confusion

You pretended there might be

paradise

In which our ground was level;

While sleeping

you whispered lies to me

Your foot on my throat all the while.

Now I am awake

and you are afraid.

You should be afraid.

While asleep I did not dream

And there are no falsehoods for me

To return to.

I am awake

And I know you

And I know what you

want from me

And I will burn this down

Wrapped in your flag

Using your book for kindling

I will burn this down.

Be afraid

For I will not sleep again.

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