sweet brown

Don’t you dare cry out.

Come here.
Stand there. Just there.
Speak to me. Your tone
It ignites something within me.
I hate you.
Stay there.
Stay where I have placed you.
I will leave you
Broken
And destitute.
I will rape your mother
And murder your son
Don’t you dare cry out.

I will take the tears
That stream your face unending
As your consent.
Why do you cry for me
But you don’t look at your brother
?
If you whisper that you have
You claim that I forced both of you,
I will leave.
I will take with me my brother
We do not get along–we hate one another,
But we cast aside our differences
When it comes to our hatred
Of you.

Stay there. Right there.
Feel the line that you walk
Know that I am above you
And beneath
I am your weight
And your anchor.
Your existence
And your worthiness
Must first meet my approval.
I hate you.
My god hates you, too.
Feel the despair
Of being nothing
Of your life measured in
Smiles
And the comfort that you brought
One of my brothers.
Know that if another
Kills you
I will rejoice in your absence
If I do not, know that I will not miss you.

Die for the first time
When you cradle him in your arms
When you realize that beautiful
Brown boy, the one you felt
In your lower back,
The one who stopped you breathing
With his beauty and existence,
The one whose words spoke you
Into being,
That beautiful brown boy
Will be laid low, grounded because
I hate you
And I have taught my brothers to hate you,
That beautiful brown boy
Will be lynched and burned and
Lynched again,
And they will show an image that is not
Him,
And they will not care
And he will be dead
And in death they will destroy him;
Die again when his killer
Calls him a monster
And says he was afraid of your
Beautiful brown boy
And he goes home
And sleeps in his bed,
And you go to the house
And your heart is empty;
Die for the final time
When a beautiful brown boy
Turned brown man
Steps on you on his way
To the top
And distances himself from you
And his words declare
You the least of all beings
And hear my words
From his lips–
Don’t you dare cry out.

Stay here.
No one else will have you
You are the mule of the world
And their God hates you
And there is nowhere in the world for you

Here. Right here.
Against my brown breast
My fiercely beating heart beneath
Here is where you will rest
And flourish
And soothe your aching bones.
Here. Right here.
Beneath my brown hands
My steady, kneading hands
Gripping yours
You will strengthen
And continue.

Rest awhile.
Be angry.
Rage, even.

Let not one tear fall for them.
They will come, but they will be
For you.
Do not bow your head
Do not let them carry your resting
And waking hours away
From you.
You will feel the anguish
In your bones.
Feel it
In the place where your soul resides
Feel it
But don’t you dare cry out.

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