pretty words.

You gave him pretty words so that the truth of him
The truth of You
Doesn’t turn to ash in your mouth.
When you push the words out
They are bitter
But it doesn’t last as long.
The sting of the bruise doesn’t hurt as much
As the scar the wound makes
So you pretend not to see it,
Pretend that it was always there
There there was something in the way
You looked at him, you made him
That way.
You forgive him this.
You love him.

He left. He trod on your heart and he left.
You were broken and bleeding and
He stopped to clean your blood
From his shoe.
And he kept walking.
Your heart stopped.
Again and again it stopped.
You waited for him to come
For it to beat again.
He did not show. He wasn’t ready.
You forgive him this.
You love him.

He was with her while your bed grew cold.
While time wound down for you
He spent all of Your time
with her. You waited for him
to find himself. For him to bring you back with him.
He did not come.
Love brought you back.
It did not come from him.
It was not sweet or pretty.
It did not warm you.
It stung you. The ache of the deadening muscle
Of your heart
healed itself. It stretched and shuddered
And beat again.
Without him.
Your face cracked and shattered
But your smile returned.

He came back..
He whispered in your ear that he was stupid
Over your shoulder his eyes locked with hers
You said it was you.
“I’m the stupid one,” you offer. He accepts this from you.
It is familiar. He is home.
You did not say that he made you that way.
You only said that he made you.
He does not tell you that he found himself
In the arms of someone else
But you forgive him this.
You love him.

In the dark you are lonely
And hollow
and lost. And you have lost.
He takes this and makes it his
He steals your grief from you
And he leaves to find himself.
You are lost again.
You reach for yourself
The person that you grew
In his absence.
You can’t remember her.
Your bed grows cold
But you wait for him.
You give him pretty words so that
The truth of him
The truth of you
doesn’t turn to ash in your mouth.
You give him pretty words
So that
The truth
Of him
Doesn’t turn
To ash
in your mouth.
You forgive him this.
You love him.

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